Following a review from BootyNet legal & feelings department, this service has been temporarily suspended pending the resolution of one or more compliance matters.

Gerald Booty, Founder and Chief Connectivity Officer, has been made aware of the situation and has described it as “completely fine and very much under control.”

Our Crystal Ball™ indicates a return to normal service is forthcoming. We are unable to provide a specific timeframe, as the Crystal Ball™ is also currently under review.

What this means for you

Your connection to the world’s most reliable two-tower network remains as strong as ever. This page, however, is temporarily unavailable while our legal team exchanges a series of very important emails.

BootyNet sincerely regrets any inconvenience this may cause. If you are experiencing distress, we recommend stepping outside and looking at a tree, the sky, or your nearest light pole.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is my data safe? BootyNet has always maintained the highest standards of data stewardship. This situation is unrelated to that.

When will this be resolved? Soon™.

Who do I contact for more information? You may direct enquiries to the BootyNet Legal & Feelings Department. Response times are currently extended due to feelings.